Day to Day

One of our biggest challenges is to stay on top of chores. Our current system is that the kids have morning chores, except Cassy because she can barely get to school on time as it is. Connor unloads the dishwasher, Addy unloads the silverware, and Alex feeds Biscuit. Everyone is supposed to make their beds, put clothes in the dirty clothes, and brush their teeth. sometimes we are better at this than others. It seems like when we catch up on everything and the house is in order we can get to our chores on a more regular basis, but when everything is crazy we are crazy all around! In the evening everyone is supposed to rotate through chores monthly and be in charge of a zone in the house that they tidy up. Here are the current categories: vacuum kitchen floor after dinner, feed dog & upstairs family room; set table, get drinks for dinner & clean mud room and little bathroom; load dishwasher after dinner, downstairs family room & bottom of stairs (including the collection basket of toys); hand wash dishes, wipe counters, tidy upstairs hallway and laundry room. It doesn't get done all the time, but at least we have a system and we keep trying. We have tried all sorts of different incentive schemes and cleaning rotations. This seems to work the best for us because we only rotate once a month (I can't keep up with changes more often than that), plus it gives them a little time to figure out the chore and to master it in that amount of time, yet they change around and don't get bored either.

Last night I was helping Connor with the hand washing and I had been running around and cleaning and just trying to be a taskmaster all day that when it came time to do the dishes I was approaching it in much the same way, but I realized there is fun to be had in the doing and kids always show you how. I had to slow down and decrease my intensity and remember to just be happy to spend some time with my cute son who is growing up so fast. He washed a dish and then he would do soap bubbles on his face to make a beard, then he would wash another dish and squirt the dish water across the room and try to do that a few more times to see how far it could squirt. The other day I was about to put away the mixing bowl in the KitchenAid mixer when I realized the dough hook was propped on the arm. I thought, "What is this doing here?" Then I realized the paddle attachment was propped on the other arm. I recognized Connor or Alex's work right away and couldn't help but take a picture. They had turned the mixer into a pirate or some Star Wars figure....

The kids do get an allowance [which isn't really tied to work, I feel like kids should learn how to handle money whether they are behaving or not. Our kids lose privileges if they don't get their chores or homework finished (like no video games, computer or friends.)] Everyone gets $1 for every year they are old. Currently Addy gets $5, Alex $7, Connor $10, and Cassy is on a special system. They get paid this once a month. Ten percent goes to tithing, twenty percent to savings, and the rest to spending. I read a book called the parenting breakthrough and they suggested this plan for allowance and saving, so I have pretty much followed that. When the kids turn 11, they start putting money toward a long term savings account. At age 11 I think they put $8 toward the account and they are also earning an allowance. At 12 they no longer earn an allowance. They actually have to find ways to work and to earn money. At this age I think they pay in about $15 a month, at age 13 it is $25 per month. Each year they pay more and more until when they are 17 it is like $150 a month. Although they no longer get an allowance, they do earn a monthly match to this long term account from their parents. When they turn 18 they will have about $11,000 saved up for college or a mission. Much of that they will have worked for themselves, so hopefully they will have respect for all the work it takes to earn that much money and not just go and blow it.

I hope that all the gnashing of teeth and wailing we go through will eventually help my children know how to work and take pride in accomplishing things. I pray that they will know what responsibility is and that they will be proud of a job well done. Most of all, I just hope my kids know and feel how much I love them and that I want them to reach their full potential in life.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

I have decided to start writing a review of the books that I read. Over time, I tend to forget the names, the setting, the plot, and even if the book was any good or not! I hope this can be my external memory...

I just finished reading Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathon Safran something. We read the book for my neighborhood bookclub. Ironically, the author is married to Nicole Krauss who wrote "The History of Love", one of my very favorite books of all time (probably a top 5). You can tell that they have been influenced by each other or by the same teachers, because their writing styles are very similar. They both have an amazing vocabulary and they both write in a way that seems backward to forward. I think the History of Love was a little puzzling as I read it, which was part of the fun. EL&IC was puzzling, but almost felt frustrating. I wonder if that is the actual intent of the author? It is set post 9/11 in New York. The main character is a boy named Oskar. He is trying to solve the mystery of a key he found in his father's closet. The key was labeled "Black". He assumed it is a name and starts his search. On this search, he is also looking for his father (or rather the memory of his father), who was killed at the World Trade Center on 9/11. Oskar is very bright and probably has a form of Asperger's or something. The story also follows the lives of his grandparents: how they met, the bombing they survived, how they married, and their lives up until his grandfather leaves when he finds out that his wife is pregnant. There is so much complexity to the story that it is hard to summarize. Basically, his grandfather was too afraid to live and love. His grandmother realized the importance of actually saying "I Love You," which her husband could not say. Oskar had a way of healing others which only a 9 year old boy with Asperger's could and he had a profound influence on many people's lives. He helped his grandfather heal, as well as his grandmother. He found the man "Black" and helped him heal (hopefully, we never found out for sure) by giving him a key that his father had given him to open an unknown safety deposit box that may have held a letter saying all of the things he needed to hear from his distant father. I like the book more as I reflect back on it. There are so many different plots, and so many levels of dysfunction throughout the book that it makes you feel like you are riding the tilt a whirl ride at Lagoon.

Highlights

Back to school, Primary programs, Lotoja (which we rocked), birthday lunches and dinners, soccer, dance, piano, Labor Day camping in the Uintah's, Sheepdog Races, Fishing at Lily Lake, S'mores, and dutch oven dinners, Count of Monte Cristo and books about Monet and Matisse, Anna Kerenina and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close all being read at the same time! Man oh man have we been busy. I am hoping to just catch my breath and get organized and into a little routine. One of my favorite highlights from the week....Addy has started reading these little books that they send home from school to get you started on the path to fluent reading. They are very simple and they have little comprehension questions to ask your child as they read to you. We were reading about Sam the Lion and Mat the Mouse. I See Sam. I am Sam. The Sam hops into bed and goes to sleep. Poor Mat the Mouse is jumping on Sam, trying to wake him up. At the bottom of the page it asks,"How would you wake Sam up?" Addy looks at me as serious as could be and says with that little lisp of hers,"I'd poke him in the nuts!" Not the answer I was anticipating....

I love that little Booza. She is feisty as all get out and you can tell she has older brothers!

Back to School

Having everyone go back to school this year has been bittersweet for me. I am excited to hear the sound of silence on occasion and to have the house stay clean for more than five minutes. I am really excited to have some of the bickering stop (at least until 4pm). But this year it will be extra quiet because Addy is starting Kindergarten! She has been so excited to go to school this week. I am so excited for her. I think she is so ready to be at school learning and interacting with school friends. I will miss my little buddy though. It is easy having one child home with me, especially because Addy is so eager to do the things that I am doing throughout the day. She loves to cook and garden and read together, and she also likes to do things on her own like coloring and crafts, playing with her hodge podge mixture of Littlest Pet Shops, dolls, princesses, legos, and whatever else is on hand. As a side note....the other day she handed me a pink play dough ball with lots of glittery beads and some little tube beads stuck in it. I asked her if it was a porcupine and she said it was actually a bomb and when it goes off all of the pokey things will fly all over and get you (obviously she has been spending a lot of time with her brothers). So anyway, it has always been fun to have her around, and she is such a momma's girl that she doesn't ever get too far away. We have been working to get her to at least go to bed in her own bed with Cassidy this summer, with the contingency that if she has a nightmare that she will hop in bed with us. So about 95% of the time she would sneak down to snuggle with us in the middle of the night. Now that school has started, she is so tired that she has even been sleeping in her own bed most nights and we have to wake her up to go to school. There are so many joys of having school age children. It is nice to have some time to myself so that I can get some things done and maybe be able to do some of the extras that I have been wanting to do , but just haven't had the time for. It is easier to go places when everyone can just go hop in the car (for the most part). And it is much easier to go out to dinner! I think it is just kind of hard to say goodbye to babyhood and to realize that we are past that phase in our lives. Especially hard because I just LOVE babies! I like the quote, "Some days can seem like forever, but the years go by in a flash" or something like that. It is so true. Some days with little kids, when you can't even use the restroom without little fingers poking under the door and someone begging to come in, just seem to go on forever and you feel like you are in survival mode. But looking back, it seems it went by in a flash. It is kind of hard and scary to have your kids out in the world and see how influenced they are by their environment. Cassidy's attitude always shifts a little when she is in school and she gets more intense (which is not fun for any of us:) The boys always moan and complain as we try to get back into the school routine of homework, chores and piano. And most of all I do miss having them all around and running for to our next adventure!

Here's a recap of the first week:

Cassy was given an extra two weeks to complete an assignment that was due the first week (that she was cramming to get done) and i think she will still be cramming to get it done by Wednesday. She is in Publications this year and loves it. She is excited to take Spanish, but doesn't love her teacher. She has one teacher that reminds her of the annoying lady who takes Dumbledore's position at Hogwarts in Harry Potter. And she has soccer everyday after school and just found out she made the varsity team, which she is very excited about! She is also working on a very hard piano piece called "Be Still My Soul" that she is going to play with Gabby and Isabella on the violin. Of course her friends play a major role in her life..

Connor has Mrs. Costley for fifth grade and loves being in her class. It doesn't hurt that his best friend, Ford, is in the class with him. They sent home a questionnaire that he had filled out and almost every answer was "Ford". "What was the best advice you have ever been given?" answer "Ford". He must have thought it said "Who gave you the best advice?" When I asked him about it, he got a big smile on his face and said,"I should have put your name down, but I wanted her to know that Ford is my best friend so that she will let us sit by each other." We will see how that works out. Connor wakes up early to read his Star Wars Boba Fat (is that how you even spell it?) or to play Lego's with Alex. He hates piano, but after grumbling he sticks with it and has even found two songs he likes to play..."Ode to Joy" and "When the Saints Come Marching In."

Alex told Grandpa Cola on the phone the other day that he doesn't like school. He has Mrs. Stettler this year and has already been working on memorizing his poems. He does like to drag his feet when it comes to homework, making a 10 minute assignment go on for 2 hours. We are working on different strategies to overcome this. Alex loves hanging out with friends. Sam and Danik are two of his friends he really likes to be with, but most of all he likes to hang out with Connor. They are both Lego masters and Alex just got his Lego magazine this morning and put it in his bag to take to school. He is doing so well with his reading and is attempting to read the first Harry Potter book (with a few picture books thrown in for fun). He is a sweetheart and very protective of his little sister....when he isn't terrorizing her.

Addy is loving Kindergarten, although I think it wears her out a little bit. She has started back to Virginia Tanner dance and loves it. She gets to go with her friend Matisse this year. We had to fill out lots of paperwork before starting school. One of the questions asked what name you would prefer to go by. I asked her if she wanted to be called Addyson, Addy, or Addy Jane. She replied, "How bout I be called Diamond?" We asked her if she had any friends at school. She said she has three. Elise and two others that she doesn't remember their names. This morning when she was getting dressed she did let me know that one of her boy friends had told her she looked pretty in her dress yesterday. She is a very girly girl and loves wearing dresses. She can't stand short sleeves, so she usually wears tank dresses or long sleeves. She is a girl who knows what she wants.